- "OK, let’s get one thing straight, right away. This really was work. Honest! I mean, it’s not as easy as you might think to take a bunch of new cars and drive them as hard as possible just to keep all of you musclecar maniacs happy. After a full day of speed-shifting, my left foot was causing me some serious pain. But, hey never let it be said that we won’t do anything to make our readers happy. Of course, I must admit that we might have had a little fun.

Actually, this is the shootout that almost wasn’t. Michigan weather forecasts predicted that it would rain, and many of the factory drivers told of driving through the rain on their way to the strip. Fortunately the sky remained relatively clear, even if it was a little cold.

But, the cool air was almost perfect for drag racing. I say "almost" because it helped the cars run better but didn’t help much with traction. Aside from the temperature, though, it was just right. Little or no wind, a bunch of new cars for us to flog, and we had the drag strip all to ourselves. What more could you ask for?

- Our field this year was rather limited. Some cars, like the Dodge Viper and Daytona R/T and the Oldsmobile Achieva haven’t begun production yet, so we were unable to test them (you can be sure we’ll drive some of the first ones to roll off the assembly line, though). Other cars, like the Dodge Stealth RT, the Taurus SHO and the Camaro Z28 were committed to prior engagements, so they were unavailable for testing, too. Of the nine cars we had, there were three front drivers, five rear drivers, and one all-wheel driver. Here’s what we had to play uh, work with:

· Buick Park Avenue Ultra            · Chevy Corvette LT1            · Chevy Corvette ZR-1            · Chevy Lumina Z/34

· Ford Mustang LX         · Plymouth Laser AWD         · Pontiac Firebird Formula        · Pontiac Firebird Trans

Am            · Pontiac Grand Prix SE Coupe

The three brave souls who withstood the elements and risked life and limb to bring you the best times we could muster were MCR‘s Donald Farr, Chevrolet’s James Ingle, and myself.

Our slowest car of the day wasn’t nearly as slow as you might expect it to be. By far the most luxurious car of the bunch, the Park Ave Ultra’s front wheels were turned by a supercharged, tuned port injected rendition of the 3800 series V-6 engine (a close relative of the Buick Grand National’s 3.8L Turbo engine). With its four-speed automatic and 2.97 axle ratio, we managed to click off several 16.1-second runs, and finally capped it off with a zippy 15.99/85.22 mph. Not bad for a plush-as-can-be land yacht. In all fairness to the Flint Flyer, had we spent more time with the car I feel confident we could have shaved a tenth off the time, since our best ET was made before the track was hooking up well.

Pontiac Grand Prix SE Coupe

Front-wheel drive cars are at a decided disadvantage when it comes to strip testing. As you nail the gas, all the weight shifts to the rear, unloading the front tires and making for lots of smoke. That was exactly the problem we faced with our second-slowest car, the Pontiac Grand Prix SE with GM’s new 3.4-liter Twin Dual Overhead Cam engine and a five-speed manual tranny. After a series of 15.5s, we managed to get the SE through the traps in 15.4 seconds at a speed of 89.64 mph. Pretty darn good for a comfortable, sporty-looking, grocery-getter, front driver that handles, too! (Look for a more in-depth road test on this one later.)

Even if we had chopped two tenths off the Mustang’s time, it still wouldn’t have been enough to match Farr’s 14.33/94.73 pass in the 5.7-liter Trans Am. The big ‘Bird’s extra 48 cubes seemed too much for the little Mustang to handle. Everything worked well on this car; even the 5.7’s mandatory automatic tranny seemed perfectly suited to the engine.  The T/A was a joy to drive. Simply pull to the line, heat the tires, leave the shifter in Drive, power-brake a little, and mash the throttle after you’re rolling. Anyone could drive this car to a 14.5 pass, and with a little practice, you too could run 14.3s.

Stock ZR-1 ‘Vettes are generally enough to make you "ooh" and "ahhh," but when you add nitrous to one, then you’re really in for some heart-pounding action! Even with the massive 345/35VR17 Goodyears this car couldn’t get any bite off the line, so, on the gas, it was limited to a 12.37/121.95. Without the laughing gas, Ingle mustered a 13.3/108.17 pass.

In the ZR-1's console were some time slips with numerous 11.9s and 12.0s on them, and Ingle informed us that the car had run 11.8s. Remember, this is on street fires! If you’re thinking the ZR-i times could have been faster, well, they could have, except that we were unable to speed-shift it. It seems the car was the recipient of a new clutch the day before our shootout and the transmission had not been firmly bolted back in place, so every shift had to be made gingerly since the transmission kept wanting to come up through the floor at you. Oh well.

My personal favorite is the Pontiac Firebird Formula with the 305/five-speed. It was real comfortable, ran strong, handled terrific and still has a muscular look. But I’ve got to bite the bullet and call the Mustang the Musclecar Of The Year for a third year in a row. Ford has done a terrific job with the Mustang, and despite the fact that it doesn’t outrun the Trans Am, with the $4,000 you’d save by buying the Mustang, you can easily get the car into the 12s!